A novelist creates fiction, but often the characters, settings, and emotions come from our own lives. You feel this when you’re writing, and perceptive readers sense what is authentic and what is false.
Let me give you an example from my fiction and my life…
When I was a war correspondent, I was one of the few foreigners living in a country where the army was systematically murdering their own citizens. On several occasions I encountered the aftermath of a mass execution—walking through villages that were quiet except for the buzzing of thousands of flies.
Eventually, the government expelled me, and I was offered a new post in Mogadishu at the height of Somalia’s civil war.
The money was significant, but I had developed a tremor in my writing hand that made it difficult to grasp a pen. My body was telling me that I couldn’t do this work anymore, so I headed back to the States for what was supposed to be a brief vacation.
I was living in a safe environment, but the memories stayed with me. I could only go to sleep if a weapon was within reach. If I went to a restaurant, I would have to sit with my back against the wall so that I could see whoever walked in.
Years passed, but that tension and wariness remained. Then, for a variety of reasons, I began to write The Traveler. The book’s prelude—the soccer riot—was written much later. I started the book with Maya’s arrival in Prague.
When Maya got on the bus and found herself compelled to sit in a “defensive” position, I stopped writing and wept. The fictional character was me. I was the person sitting on the bus, sick of violence, but always prepared for an attack.
At that moment, I realized that creating fiction would allow me to acknowledge and accept the darkness in my past. Finally, I was free.
A moment like this isn’t limited to writers. A close friend of mine was abused by her father. She became an extraordinary teacher who notices kids in trouble and uses her own experience to help them.
I send a Buddhist prayer in your direction—hoping that you are using every element of your past and present to create a more positive life.